I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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