Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I will be naked everywhere
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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