I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
