I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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