I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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