I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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