I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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