I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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