I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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