we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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