real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
