so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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