You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
