every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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