I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
