it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
