it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
