I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize