U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
