"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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