One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize