i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
