I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
