I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
