I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my sisters under your porch take her home
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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