Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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