She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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