lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
