90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
