Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
