the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
