i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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