i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
