You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
you never un-have a 4some
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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