White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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