Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
