u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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