Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
