She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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