I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize