Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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