I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
