I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize