dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
