Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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