Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
