2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
