Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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