trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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