I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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