Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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