i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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