I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
