Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
