I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
