im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize