Pregnant stripper...not hot.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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