What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
