Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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