My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Randomize