We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
