would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
