In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
