ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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